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Aesop teaches Israel how to deal with its foes
Israel can learn valuable lessons from Aesop’s immortal fables
By Israel Zwick, CN Publications, July 19, 2010
http://cnpublications.net/category/zwicks-picks/
Every schoolchild knows the story. The haughty hare challenges the tortoise to a race and the tortoise accepts. During the race, the overconfident hare takes a nap while the tortoise plods slowly along and reaches the finish line. This story has been attributed to a slave and storyteller named Aesop who lived in Ancient Greece during the 5th century BCE.
There are hundreds of such ancient fables that use animal characters to teach moral lessons. Throughout the years and throughout the world, these tales have been used to provide moral education for children. According to the Jewish Encyclopedia, these fables were known to the Talmudic sages and may have been the source for some of the 30 fables that appear in the Talmud. They have also inspired Jewish writers in the Middle Ages. The ambiguity of the stories inspired diverse interpretations that have contributed to their popularity and timelessness.
Today, we can use these stories to teach advocates for Israel how to respond to the incessant attacks against Israel from both friend and foe. The story of the tortoise and the hare teaches us that the goal of peace in the Middle East won’t be reached by pompous, inexperienced leaders who believe that they can accomplish in a few years what experienced statesmen failed to accomplish in the last 40 years. The goal will only be reached by plodding along slowly and applying years of peace education to promote acceptance, tolerance, and cooperative ventures that will facilitate peaceful coexistence. Pressuring the parties to sign a “peace agreement’ that they are not prepared for will only push the elusive goal further away from reach. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Middle East Report, Opinion, Recent Posts, Zwick's Picks on July 19, 2010 - ח' אב תש"ע at 12:03 am
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Israel: A Summer Like You’ve Never Experienced Before
by Steve Walz, Contributing Writer, Jewish Journal, May 28, 2010
http://www.jewishjournal.com/ travel/article/israel_a_summer_like_youve_never_experienced_before_20100528/
Namal Tel Aviv (Port of Tel Aviv) at night.
From rockin’ with Elton John in trendy metro Tel Aviv to discovering the secrets of Mediterranean olive oil in the Holy City of Jerusalem, Israel is a summertime mecca of culturally scintillating attractions for tourists who are looking for fun, sun and adventure.
Israel’s resilient tourism industry, which has bounced back from the negative effects of the global economic downturn in 2009, is on the verge of a record-breaking 2010 tourist season. Accordingig
to Israel’s Ministry of Tourism, incoming tourism figures for 2010 are already ahead of 2008, when the country welcomed 3 million tourists (the original all-time record). Even Iceland’s menacing volcanic ash cloud, which wreaked havoc on European travel in April and May, did not have a deleterious effect on incoming tourism to Israel.
Tourism Minister Stas Misezhnikov revealed that income from foreign tourism in the first quarter of 2010 reached $695 million.
“The constant growth in incoming tourism sharpens the contribution to the Israeli economy, which means a significant increase in the number of direct and indirect jobs associated with the tourism industry.
There are now 90,000 people employed in the local tourism industry,” he added.
During the forthcoming summer and fall seasons, the Tourism Ministry will be investing an additional $10 million in various advertising campaigns, in order to lure new and veteran tourists to the Holy Land.
While there are hundreds of attractions to choose from on the ministry’s goisrael.com Web site, we’ve created a compact list of venues intended to pique your interest. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Business and Commerce, Fun Stuff, Middle East Report, Recent Posts on May 28, 2010 - ט"ו סיון תש"ע at 4:49 pm
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Obama: ‘I’m Really a Space Cadet when it Comes to the Mideast’
Purim is a holiday on which Jews are expected to get tipsy, wear costumes and do silly things – including posting completely imaginary and false interviews with the President of the United States on news websites that are perfectly serious on all the other days of the year.
by Gil Ronen, Arutz Sheva, Purim 5770, February 28, 2010
(Israelnationalnews.com) United States President Barack Obama admitted, in a special Purim interview for Arutz Sheva, that he “frankly does not have a clue” regarding the psychology of the Middle East and that “a three year old child with some experience in nursery-school power politics could probably understand the Middle East better than [he does].”
“I really am a space cadet when it comes to Middle East,” he said.
His mood swung from low to high and back again as he sipped occasionally from the Purim wine that the Arutz Sheva team had brought him. To our surprise, Obama chugged away at the bottle, finishing it before the interview was halfway through and asking for seconds. His mood from that point onward could best be described as “drunkenly sober” – until the end of the interview, when matters took a surprising turn.
ARUTZ SHEVA: Mr. President, as the Jewish people celebrate Purim, we remember our struggle with an evil Persian official named Haman, and look with foreboding at a new Iranian regime that threatens us with destruction too. Can you promise us that the US intends to apply biting sanctions against Iran before it is too late?
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: First of all let me say that I am very much in favor of sanctions that bite. As a matter of fact, I think all sanctions bite. They really do. Sanctions are out! Any form of punitive action against a Muslim country is really counterproductive because Islam is a religion of peace and the US is after all a colonialist power. I was just talking to some old madarassah buddies of mine from Indonesia about this on Facebook.
Suddenly beaming, Obama waves at the camera and exclaims: “Hi Bilal and Japoor! Hope you are watching!” He fondles his wine glass pensively and continues.
BHO: Having said that – we have no intention of abandoning Israel to the wolves, so to speak. I have said before and I will say it again: the United States will not stand idly by as Israel is turned into a radioactive parking lot. If and when Iran uses nuclear weapons against Israel, and if we see that there is serious fallout and hundreds of thousands of people die horrible deaths – we will apply sanctions against the Revolutionary Guards.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Humor, Judaism, Middle East, Recent Posts on February 28, 2010 - י"ד אדר תש"ע at 9:03 am
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Q&A With Mel Brooks
By Tom Teicholz, Jewish Journal, February 23, 2010
http://www.jewishjournal.com/ tommywood/article/qa_with_mel_brooks_20100223/
JewishJournal.com exclusive audio:
Interview with Mel Brooks
Mel Brooks sings
Mel Brooks is on a hot streak: He was just a Kennedy Center Honoree (along with Dave Brubeck, Robert De Niro, Grace Bumbry and Bruce Springsteen); 20th Century Fox just released “The Mel Brooks Collection” in Blu-ray — a nine-DVD set that includes “Blazing Saddles,” “Young Frankenstein” and “Spaceballs,” among other classics; and Shout! Factory has released “The 2000 Year Old Man: The Complete History,” a three-CD, one-DVD set that collects the various incarnations in which Carl Reiner, the world’s greatest straight man, interviews a visitor who’s survived since ancient times and who speaks in a thick Jewish accent to hilarious effect.
Brooks discussed all this, and a bit more, recently in a phone interview from the offices of his production company. I am glad that I taped our conversation, because I was so excited to talk to him that I stopped taking notes after the first few questions. This is an edited version of our conversation.
Tom Teicholz: You were honored recently at the Kennedy Center in Washington, and on TV it looked like you and Bruce Springsteen were kibitzing during the whole show —
Mel Brooks: Oh yeah, well, you know I’m a big fan, and I’ve got all his — we used to call them records — [and] we were talking about how wonderful the evening was and how honored we felt sitting next to the president. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Humor, Judaism, Recent Posts on February 24, 2010 - י' אדר תש"ע at 9:11 am
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How to get international support for the Jewish settlements
In his usual tongue-in-cheek style, Israel Zwick presents a plan for obtaining international acceptance and support for the Jewish communities in Judea and Samaria.
By Israel Zwick, CN Publications, December 21, 2009
Though he lived in Chicago, Barack Obama is probably too young to be familiar with Elvis Presley’s sentimental hit song, “In the Ghetto,” about a boy growing up in a Chicago ghetto. He probably is also unaware that the term “ghetto” originally referred to an area in Venice in the 16th century where Jews were confined. Jewish ghettos continued to be established throughout Europe through the end of World War II. Barack Obama may also be unaware that for the last 150 years there have been small Jewish settlements in Montana, where Jews have no cultural or historical attachments. So what does any of this have to do with Jewish communities in Judea and Samaria?
Knowing the dire conditions of urban ghettos, it unlikely that a humanitarian such as Barack Obama would support the establishment of ghettos for any ethnic group. President Obama would most likely also support the rights of Jews to establish settlements in Montana even if they have no historical connection to the land. Yet by insisting that Jewish settlements in Judea and Samaria are illegitimate and should be “frozen”, Obama is confining the Jews in Israel to urban ghettos and denying them the right to establish communities in areas where they have strong religious, cultural, and historical attachments.
The USA, UN, and EU, continue to insist that Jewish settlements in Judea, Samaria, and Gaza are illegal and should not be continued. The settler movement has responded with lengthy legal and historical treatises confirming the rights of Jews to live in these areas. All to no avail. The “international community” has decided that this is all “occupied Palestinian territory” and Jews have no right to establish communities there. Of course, Arabs insist on their rights to live anywhere they want to within Israel, Europe, or North America. Only Jewish settlement should be restricted.
Jews have already been expelled from over a dozen countries in the Middle East where they used to have thriving communities. When Jews want to move into Arab areas in the Galil, Negev, or Jerusalem, they are accused of “ethnic cleansing.” The southern city of Eilat has become an expensive tourist resort for wealthy Europeans that few native Israelis can afford. That restricts most of the Jews in Israel to living in “urban ghettos” along the narrow Tel-Aviv to Jerusalem corridor and along the Mediterranean coast. Yet Barack Obama, who would surely support the rights of Jews to live in Montana, sees no problem with denying them the right to live in their ancestral homeland. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Humor, Judaism, Middle East Report, Opinion, Recent Posts, Zwick's Picks on December 21, 2009 - ד' טבת תש"ע at 11:20 am
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Yes, Miky, There Are Rabbis in Montana
By ERIC A. STERN, NY Times, December 5, 2009
HELENA, Mont. — In Montana, a rabbi is an unusual sight. So when a Hasidic one walked into the State Capitol last December, with his long beard, black hat and long black coat, a police officer grabbed his bomb-sniffing German shepherd and went to ask the exotic visitor a few questions.
Though there are few Jews in Montana today, there once were many. In the late 19th century, there were thriving Jewish populations in the mining towns, where Jews emigrated to work as butchers, clothiers, jewelers, tailors and the like.
The city of Butte had kosher markets, a Jewish mayor, a B’nai B’rith lodge and three synagogues. Helena, the capital city, had Temple Emanu-El, built in 1891 with a seating capacity of 500. The elegant original facade still stands, but the building was sold and converted to offices in the 1930s, when the congregation had dwindled to almost nothing, the Jewish population having mostly assimilated or moved on to bigger cities.
There is a Jewish cemetery in Helena, too, with tombstones dating to 1866. But more Jews are buried in Helena than currently live here.
And yet, in a minor revival, Montana now has three rabbis, two in Bozeman and one (appropriately) in Whitefish. They were all at the Capitol on the first night of Hannukah last year to light a menorah in the ornate Capitol rotunda, amid 100-year-old murals depicting Sacajawea meeting Lewis and Clark, the Indians beating Custer, and the railway being built. The security officer and the dog followed the rabbi into the rotunda, to size him up.
Hanukkah has a special significance in Montana these days. In Billings in 1993, vandals broke windows in homes that were displaying menorahs. In a response organized by local church leaders, more than 10,000 of the city’s residents and shopkeepers put make-shift menorahs in their own windows, to protect the city’s three dozen or so Jewish families. The vandalism stopped.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Humor, Judaism, Monotheistic Religions, News Articles, Recent Posts on December 6, 2009 - י"ט כסלו תש"ע at 2:51 pm
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Chanukah: It’s About Light, in All Its Forms
December 03, 2009
REFLECTIONS
By Judd Levingston, Jewish Exponent
This year, Chanukah will feel different for our family because there will be much more light than before.
Our middle daughter knows all about light, having just celebrated her Bat Mitzvah two months ago on the week when we read the story of creation in the Torah.
For nearly a year, she practiced chanting the Hebrew verses announcing the creation of light, and she understood the drama in the words, “God saw that it was good.”
After reading about the light filling the primordial world, it seemed fitting that she received gifts of Chanukah menorahs and Shabbat candlesticks, some for home and some for travel.
“The more the merrier,” she said. She likes having options, and we all like to see the little flames dancing.
Chanukah is a light-bringing holiday. When we light the candles each night, the flames capture our attention and give flight to the imagination.
We imagine that the cold outside can’t come in, and we suspend disbelief as the day’s frustrations and difficult moments quickly fade.
Each night presents a set of options: Our middle daughter helps us to decide which Chanukah menorahs we should light. Our youngest daughter helps with the color schemes (blue-and-white, rainbow, orange and purple …) for each menorah, and our oldest son takes out his saxophone and picks out the songs that we should sing.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Education, Fun Stuff, Judaism, Monotheistic Religions, Opinion, Recent Posts on December 6, 2009 - י"ט כסלו תש"ע at 8:28 am
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How Jews got their Names….
DON’T MISS THE YIDDISH POEM AT THE END.
Other than aristocrats and wealthy people Jews did not get surnames
in Eastern Europe until the Napoleon years of the early 19th century.
Most of the Jews from countries captured by Napoleon , Russia , Poland ,
and Germany were ordered to get surnames for tax purposes.
After Napoleon’s defeat, many Jews dropped these names and returned
to ‘son of’ names such as: MENDELSOHN, JACOBSON, LEVINSON, etc.
During the so called Emancipation, Jews were once more ordered to
take surnames. In Austria The Emperor Joseph made Jews take last names in
the late 1700s, Poland in 1821 and Russia in 1844. It’s probable that
some of our families have had last names for 175 years or less.
In France and the Anglo Saxon countries surnames went back to the
16th century. Also Sephardic Jews had surnames stretching back centuries..
Spain prior to Ferdinand and Isabella was a golden spot for Jews.
They were expelled by Isabella in the same year that Columbus left
for America .
The earliest American Jews were Sephardic.
In general there were Five types of names (people had to pay for their choice of names; the poor had assigned names):
1– Names that were descriptive of the head of household:
Examples:
HOCH (tall) ,
KLEIN (small),
COHEN (rabbi ),
BURGER (village dweller),
SHEIN (good looking),
LEVI (temple singer),
GROSS (large),
SCHWARTZ (dark or black),
WEISS (white),
KURTZ (short)
2 — Names describing occupations:
Examples:
HOLTZ (wood)
HOLTZKOCKER (wood chopper),
GELTSCHMIDT (goldsmith),
SCHNEIDER (tailor),
KREIGSMAN (warrior),
MALAMED (teacher)
EISEN (iron),
FISCHER (fish)
3– Names from city of residence:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Humor, Judaism on August 6, 2009 - ט"ז אב תשס"ט at 11:49 pm
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On the Lighter Side: The Wise Men of Chelm Resolve World Crises
By Israel Zwick, CN Publications, January 5, 2009
Editor’s Note: Prior to World War II, there was a town in Eastern Europe called Chelm. The elders of the town were known as the Wise Men of Chelm because of their renowned aptitude for solving daily problems. As a result of the turbulence in Europe during world War II, the Wise Men of Chelm relocated to Geneva, Switzerland where they established the Dialogue for Regional and Economic Cooperation, commonly known as DREC. The group was frequently called on to use their unique wisdom to resolve world crises. CN Publications has been able to obtain a transcript of their last meeting.
Chairman: We are convening today by special request of the distinguished representative of Hamastan, Professor Ahmed Kheshbon, who is concerned about the attacks on his territory from neighboring Yidenland. Professor Kheshbon would like us to intervene and put an immediate stop to the attacks on Hamastan.
Shmeryl: Mr. Chairman, before we begin the meeting, I would like to request that the window be closed, it’s very cold outside.
Chairman: Yes, Shmeryl, I am aware that it is cold outside, but if I close the window, would it get any warmer outside? I’m sorry but I have to deny your request because it makes no sense. Before we continue with today’s agenda, I would like to call on the Secretary to read the minutes of the last meeting.
Secretary: The first item on the agenda was a complaint that the funds that were given to Hamastan to build schools, hospitals, and housing were being abused and misdirected. Apparently, one of the contractors hired to build housing cut down some logs on top of a mountain and instead of rolling the logs down the mountain, he hired his family members to carry them down. So to avoid accusations that our funds were being misappropriated, we provided more funds to carry the logs back up the mountain and then roll them down.
Then we discussed the problems with the food program that we provided to feed the poor, suffering, hungry Hamasniks. Apparently, thieves broke into the warehouse that stored the food, carted it away on trucks, then sold it in the open market. So we appropriated more funds to buy more food but this time we built concrete walls around the food so that the thieves couldn’t get in. The only problem was that the legitimate administrators of the food program couldn’t get to the food either. So we appropriated more funds to buy ladders that were placed all around the concrete walls. This satisfied everyone and the problem was resolved.
Chairman: Now we would like to hear Prof. Kheshbon from Hamastan University explain why he asked us to convene this special meeting.
Prof. Kheshbon: Well apparently, several groups of a few bad boys were shooting some homemade firecrackers across the border into Yidenland, you know how boys can behave. The Yiden became overly upset about the small amount of damage and casualties that these firecrackers caused and started bombing our buildings, inflicting heavy damage and casualties. Now, we can accept that the Yiden might want to retaliate a bit, but it should be proportionate.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Humor, Judaism, Recent Posts, Zwick's Picks on January 5, 2009 - ט' טבת תשס"ט at 1:24 pm
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The Guys’ Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys’ side of the story.We always hear “the rules“From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh
Posted by CNP Webmaster as Fun Stuff, Humor on November 3, 2008 - ה' חשון תשס"ט at 9:34 am
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