CYA and Make Money

The Suffering Palestinian People: A One-step Solution.

By Israel Zwick, CN Publications, April 24, 2007

Written in honor of Israel Independence Day, 5 Iyar 5767

Since the establishment of the State of Israel in May, 1948, thousands of articles and millions of words have been written about the “suffering of the Palestinian people”. It has been well established that many of the 4 million people who now identify themselves as Palestinians, are living in poverty and squalor in over 50 UNRWA “refugee camps” scattered around the Israeli territories, Gaza, Jordan, Lebanon, and Syria. There is universal agreement that the “plight of the Palestinian refugees” needs to be resolved in order to bring peace and stability to the Middle East.

Before developing a suitable intervention to resolving a problematic situation, it is first necessary to do a thorough assessment to determine the cause of the problem. When the Palestinian spokesmen are interviewed about the problem, they are adept at using CYA techniques to explain the reasons for the “suffering of the Palestinian people.” As most Americans know, CYA is the initialism for Cover Your Derrière. It is a common expression used when the blame for wrongdoing is ascribed elsewhere to avoid the possibility of personal liability. CYA techniques are among the first lessons that journalists and diplomats learn on the job. So if something goes wrong, “It can’t be my fault, I followed all the appropriate procedures, you need to look elsewhere to find fault.”

Using CYA techniques, the reason for the “suffering of the Palestinian people” can be readily determined:

Could the reason be related to the involvement of the Palestinians in violence and terrorism? No, of course not. There is no Palestinians terrorism, only “legitimate resistance.” So that can’t be the reason.

Could the reason be the endless perpetuation of refugee status by UNRWA? No, the UN has always supported “solidarity with the Palestinian people” so they would never do anything that would be detrimental to the Palestinians. So that can’t be the reason.

Could the reason be the refusal of the Arab governments to absorb and incorporate the Palestinian refugees into their countries? No, the Arab governments have always been concerned about the best interests for the Palestinian people. So that can’t be the reason.

Could the reason be related to corruption and mismanagement by the Palestinian leadership? No, all the Palestinian leaders are selfless public servants who would never consider taking an extra cent for themselves. So that can’t be the reason.

Could the reason be related to the international sanctions and boycotts imposed on the Hamas government? No, the UN statistics clearly demonstrate that the Palestinians have received more economic aid per capita than any other ethnic or minority group in the world. So that can’t be the reason.

That leaves only one possible reason left for the suffering of the Palestinian people: The suffering of the Palestinian people in the Israeli territories is due to the oppressive, violent, aggressive, genocidal, apartheid policies of the Zionist entity.

But wait, you may ask, there are also suffering Palestinians in Jordan. Why are they suffering in Jordan?  By extension, the suffering of the Palestinian people in Jordan is due to the oppressive, violent, aggressive, genocidal, apartheid policies of the Zionist entity.

But what about the suffering Palestinians in Lebanon? Why are they suffering in Lebanon? By further extrapolation, the suffering of the Palestinian people in Lebanon is due to the oppressive, violent, aggressive, genocidal, apartheid policies of the Zionist entity.

But the Palestinians in Syria are also suffering. Why are they suffering in Syria? By now it should be readily understood, the suffering of the Palestinian people in the Syria is due to the oppressive, violent, aggressive, genocidal, apartheid policies of the Zionist entity.

But the Palestinians in Iraq are also suffering. Why are they suffering in Iraq? You guessed it! The suffering of the Palestinian people in Iraq is due to the oppressive, violent, aggressive, genocidal, apartheid policies of the Zionist entity.

Now that the reason for the suffering of the Palestinian people has been conclusively determined with certainty, we can develop an appropriate intervention to alleviate their suffering. The first thing that the Palestinians have to do to alleviate their suffering is to make money. The money is needed to build smuggling tunnels, purchase advanced armaments, build reinforced concrete bunkers, and finance luxurious mansions in Europe for the Palestinian leadership. The next thing that the Palestinians must do is to continue to use CYA techniques to protect themselves from any blame whatsoever.

There is one solution that would resolve both of these issues and bring prosperity and contentment to the Palestinian people: They need to build a big underwear factory in Gaza. Underwear manufacturing in China is a huge industry involving many factories and billions of dollars. It is also a big business in Egypt, a major producer of cotton. If the Palestinians had only a small portion of this business, they would be able to have all the money they need and be able to cover their derrières as well.

Underwear manufacturing would be a suitable industry for the Palestinians. Cotton is one of Egypt’s major exports. So the Palestinians could use their smuggling tunnels to import cotton from Egypt. Eventually they could grow their own cotton in the Gaza strip. Irrigation water could come from water purification of the Mediterranean.  Plentiful fertilizer could come from reprocessed sewage since the Arabs in Gaza have such an abundance of it. In a short time, the Palestinians could become the main underwear providers for the entire Arab world. Any Arab, and many Israelis, would be proud to cover their derrières with underwear that boasts that it is “Made in Gaza.”

There is one additional benefit for manufacturing underwear in Gaza: It would provide the Palestinians with a little more protection when they are full of hot air, which happens so often.

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4 Responses to CYA and Make Money

  1. Dorit K. says:

    It’s about time that someone revealed the true nature of the suffering Palestinians and all their BS. Kol Hakovod

  2. That’s right. The Jews are responsible for all of the suffering of the Palestinian people since the Naqba in 1948.

  3. Walid, Cairo says:

    All kidding aside, Egypt has an underwear manufacturing industry and it would be a good industry for Gaza as well. Unfortunately, they’re too busy with smuggling weapons and kidnapping to establish any productive industry.

  4. Jay G. says:

    great solution-you really got to the seat of the problem and handled it with a brief solution

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