Distorting history is dangerous

Though the following article is a satire, if the international and Palestinian media continue to fabricate and distort history, this is what we can expect in the future


The following article was reprinted from the Los Angeles Times, November 30, 2016 and submitted by Israel Zwick.



Palestinians and Israelis Accept 1947 UN Partition Plan, Bringing End to Long Conflict

Jerusalem to become capital of new Palestinian state

By Mahmoud Al-Shahibi

Times Staff Writer

November 30, 2016

WASHINGTON ­­– President Hillary Clinton announced that the lengthy final-status negotiations between the Palestinians and Israelis have been concluded with an agreement reached between the two parties. Both Israelis and Palestinians have agreed to accept most of the recommendations of UN Resolution GA 181 adopted on November 29, 1947 (www.mideastweb.org/unpartition.htm). The primary difference is that Jerusalem will become the capital of the new state of Palestine, instead of being an international zone. This brings an end to one of history’s longest conflicts that has raged for close to a century. At the conclusion of the signing ceremony, Prime Minister Yossi Beilin of Israel and Prime Minister Mohammed Dahlan of Palestine hugged and kissed each other according to Arab custom. Also present at the signing ceremony was Suha Arafat, widow of Yasir Arafat, the Nobel laureate, who is widely recognized as the originator of the peace process and advocate of peaceful coexistence between Jews and Arabs. Also looking on was former Israeli Prime Minister and Nobel laureate, Shimon Peres, who was flown in from Hadassah Hospital where he is undergoing stem-cell treatment for Alzheimer’s Disease.

President Clinton gets the credit for brokering the talks, which have been going on throughout most of her 8-year administration. Shortly after the signing, many of the 190 members of the UN agreed to recognize the two states and establish an embassy in the capital of Palestine, which will be renamed Al-Quds. Pope Yusuf I hailed the accords from his office at the Vatican, and pledged Vatican assistance to help rebuild the vibrant Arab Christian communities that existed in the Holy Land prior to the Israeli military occupation and illegal establishment of Jewish settlements.

The agreement was made possible by the cooperation of European and Arab governments who were willing to accept the Jewish residents that will be relocated from the areas that will revert to Palestinian control. The countries Germany, Poland, Austria, Lithuania, Hungary, Russia, Morocco, Syria, Iraq, Iran, and Yemen agreed to take in as many Jews as existed in their respective countries in 1939, at the onset of World War II, which displaced many Jews from their homes.

According to the Institute for Historical Review, (www.ihr.org) the origins of the Arab-Israeli conflict began with the displacement of Jews during World War II and the death of many thousands of Jews by mysterious causes. When Hitler occupied Poland in 1939, he established a number of refugee camps for Polish citizens who were displaced by the war. The new disinfectant, Zyklon B, was introduced in some of these camps to maintain sanitary conditions. It was not known at that time that Ashkenazic Jews had a specific genetic sensitivity to Zyklon B. As a result, many of the Jews in these refugee camps died from severe allergic reactions to Zyklon B. Then when the bodies had to be cremated for hygienic reasons, rumors started to spread among the Jewish population that the Germans were engaged in a program of mass genocide against the Jewish people and the Jews started to panic. In America, these rumors were spread by Peter Bergson, who was really Hillel Kook from Jerusalem, nephew of the first Chief Rabbi of the Palestine Mandate. In Hungary, a young maverick Swedish diplomat named Raoul Wallenberg convinced Hungarian Jews that they were being sent to extermination camps. He wanted to “save” them to further his own political ambitions. He was later captured by the Russians and imprisoned for his crimes. The head of the German Disinfection Program, Adolf Eichmann, was living peacefully in Argentina when he was forcibly kidnapped by Israeli agents, tried for “war crimes,” and executed.

As a result of the genocide rumors in Europe, the surviving Jews of Europe no longer wanted to live there. Many thousands of them tried to enter Palestine illegally in violation of the British White Paper. These Polish “illegals” then displaced the indigenous Arab population. Then when the Arab population resisted the Jewish domination in 1948, the heavily financed Jewish Army waged war, captured more land, and established a capital in Jerusalem, which was not recognized by any country.

The status of Jerusalem became the chief stumbling block in the final-status negotiations between the Israeli and Palestinian negotiators. For a long time, the Israeli negotiators refused to relinquish control of Jerusalem, claiming that Jews have strong historical, cultural, and religious connections to the city. The breakthrough came when the prestigious Institute for Palestine Studies (www.palestine-studies.org) produced documents providing compelling evidence that Jerusalem was originally an Arab city named Al-Quds. The documents showed convincingly that there was never a Jewish Temple in the area and that King Solomon was only a fictional character from Jewish mythology. After reviewing the documents carefully, the Israeli negotiators realized that the story of a Jewish Temple in Jerusalem was only a malicious fabrication by religious Zionist extremists. They withdrew their demands for Jewish control of Jerusalem and the negotiations proceeded rapidly from then on.

The landmark agreement ends the long, harsh Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands. The Palestinian Central Bureau of Statistics (www.pcbs.gov.ps) released a report called “Impact of the Israeli Measures on the Economic Conditions of Palestinian Households” which documented the severe economic hardships inflicted on the Palestinians by the Israeli occupation. The hardships became even more severe in August, 2005 when Jewish farmers in the Gaza Strip suddenly abandoned their homes and greenhouses to seek “greener pastures” elsewhere. This left many destitute Palestinian workers without any source of income. Attempts by the Palestinians to use the greenhouses were futile because the departing Jews spread a mutant plant virus in the greenhouses that prevented anything from growing there. Attempts to establish tourist and business centers in the Gaza Strip were also unsuccessful because the humiliating Israeli checkpoints discouraged tourists and businessmen from traveling to Gaza. Now with the evacuation of the Israeli military and all illegal Jewish settlements, Palestine is destined to become a world-class center for technology, research, tourism, and commerce.

In announcing the landmark agreement, President Clinton said, “Because of this document, my successor, President-elect Ahmed Jefferson, will be leading our country into a much more peaceful era than the one that existed when I took office in 2009. This agreement is the greatest accomplishment of my administration.”

This entry was posted in Fun Stuff, Humor, Judaism, Middle East Report, Opinion, Recent Posts, Zwick's Picks. Bookmark the permalink.